Face less

So, Berliner, eh? Weeks of frantic work have paid off, but there are definitely a few problems with going Guardian.

Byline photos, it turns out, were created just to mock writers. I’ve been happily slumming in facial anonymity on these pages for six months, and now look what’s happened. Yes, hello puddingface, I’m talking about you.

Be reassured that in person I look more like the offspring of Mark and Jeremy in Peep Show; Peter Crouch; or Hugh Grant left in a test tube too long.

So the next time you think that wall to wall colour, pin-sharp digital printing and well-designed space is a good idea, just think of all the ugly, mewling faces up on the fourth floor and reconsider.