Doctor Who Ep 11: Testing Times

Billie Piper and David Tennant step out the Tardis onto Woodville Road
BP: Bloody hell, it’s not Cardiff in 2006 again, is it?
A Welsh bit part actor, dressed as a Pearly King, wanders past an Underground sign hung outside Hyper Value with ‘London Station’ written on it
BP: I mean, London. Hello, are you common? Can we be friends?
WBPA: Yes. Tidy. All my friends have gone missing, isn’t it? They all took delivery of these things called ‘exam timetables’, and vanished into that ominous building.
Gestures at the Arts & Social Science Library
Audience: Why does everyone everywhere in the universe have a Welsh accent?
Russell T Davies: Shut up, that’s why.

Scene opens in the library. Rows of ill-looking, expressionless students work in silence
DT: Oh no, these poor students are being forced to work despite the fact that there’s no point. It’s as if someone has taken all the humanity out of them.
AUT General Secretary Sally Hunt enters. Extra tentacles provided by BBC Graphics, powered by the new Spectrum ZX
DT, as boggle-eyed and shouty as possible: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU’VE MADE THEM LEARN DESPITE THE FACT NO-ONE’S GOING TO MARK THEIR WORK!
The Doctor presses a button or something equally stupid
SH: No! I’m filling up with humanity and caring about other people! It is making me die for some reason!
Sally Hunt explodes. The library celebrates quietly.

Audience: Hang on. Isn’t this what basically what happens every week?
Russell T Davies: No.
Audience: Oh, okay. *claps and lauds with critical praise as most original thing that has ever been made*
Next week: some calculators steal people’s emotions, before the Doctor destroys them by filling them with the humanity they have so far suppressed, whilst Rose befriends yet another Welsh prole