Fast Moving Depression

If you’re reading this then congratulations: you’ve survived the most miserable day of the year. Plastered across the nation’s media on January 23rd, ‘Doctor’ Cliff Arnall announced that his formula of weather, debt and work prospects showed it probably wasn’t worth getting out of bed.

Well, he was right about one thing: I certainly was depressed on the 23rd, having seen the name of the University used to publicise such rubbish. With his PR puff piece written up in 33 newspapers last month, the idea that Cardiff University works on such drivel has certainly spread far and wide.

So who is Cliff Arnall? He’s not part of the well-respected School of Psychology, but is instead a part-time lecturer in the Centre for Lifelong Learning. He teaches such important 10-credit modules as ‘Health Psychology’ (‘Do people die of a broken heart?’) and the improbably named ‘Amazing Psychology of Sleeping and Dreaming’.

As a self-confessed ‘media slut’, it probably won’t be long before we hear from Cliff again. Last year he also worked out when the happiest day of the year is (that study was funded by ice cream makers Walls, and included an anecdote in the press release about eating, um, ice cream) as well as when the best time is to make New Year resolutions (May 18. No, really.)

The formula for most depressing day of the year was actually released last year through PR company Porter Novelli (presumably The Lancet was busy). Back then it was research for Sky Travel, and surprisingly enough, the conclusion was that people could relieve their problems by booking a holiday.

Mr Arnall is only partially to blame; the newspapers who merrily picked up this PR pap are just as much to blame. On a slow news day in January, it’s perfectly easy for a newspaper to pick the story up and use the press release without bothering to question it.

He has told me that he has never referred to himself as a doctor (as he isn’t one), but this was something that the newspapers have all independently decided to use. He also claims that his links to Cardiff University have been made by the newspapers themselves.

However, out of the 129 mentions of Cliff Arnall in the press since the beginning of last year, 94 mention he is part of Cardiff University, whilst 85 of those claim he is a doctor. It’s difficult to believe that so many newspapers can be bothered to do that much research.

He denies that his work was ever intended to be considered as academic research, and that it is instead about ‘helping people talk about their feelings and get the most out of like’. Well, as long as he isn’t just using Cardiff Uni’s name to line his own pockets, then I guess that’s okay.

Even taking into account the role of the media, Mr Arnall still has a case to answer. I doubt that he would be considered as someone that Porter Novelli could use to promote their cause if they could not make a link with the University explicit. It’s implausible that this wasn’t part of the plan all along.

The upshot of his ‘work’ repeatedly turning up in the media is that he is lumbering the School of Psychology (which he isn’t in, but the press rarely specify that) with a view that they are really a bunch of con-artists more concerned with making money than serious academic study, instead of being one of the most respected departments in the country.

‘Doctor’ Cliff can make money however he likes, but he gets his work published because he can use the name of the University. How good your degree is considered by employers is entirely dependent on how well the institution is viewed. A 2:1 in Law from Oxford is considered a damn sight better than a First in it from the Worcester College of Technology.

Do you want to be considered a student who went to a respectable university with an excellent research record, or one who’s name is used by staff on the payroll of whichever company has the biggest chequebook? Regardless of who let this story loose this year, everyone in the University is dragged down by this crap.

Still, considering it’s only a few short months until the happiest day of the year, we should probably brace ourselves for more cod science from the Good Doctor.